1 Timothy 4:12 Am I too young? Not good enough?

"Dont let anyone think less of you because you are young.  Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

It is currently 1:52am on Sunday morning.  The first day of the support group.  It seems that lately I have been getting up in the middle of the night.  Usually with a feeling of overwhelming stress.  Tonight was no different.  I lay there thinking, jeez can I not get more then 2 hours of sleep anymore!  Then I started thinking about the group and how I just don't feel qualified to do this.  How I need to explain that to everyone.  Then I prayed for a quick minute (mostly for peace to sleep).  I turned on the TV to Netflix, odd thing, it did not register me as a user.  Ok, so I fixed that problem. All the while I am hearing a voice in the back of my head to put the remote down.  Then while waiting for it to load I think about checking my Facebook (don't you just love smart phones!) and that is down.  Ok, God I am listening now.  So I hear a voice telling me to go look in my bible.  Ok God this better be good.  I often believe that if God wants you to read something he will open it to the right page.  So I did my flip it open and close my eyes finger point.  To be honest I tried a couple times.  Then I found the above verse, in bold.  I love the whole thing verse 4:6-16.  "Don't waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives tales" (7)  Yeah that can apply with infertility.  "Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them" (11)  "Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers and teaching them. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you have received through the prophecy spoken over you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you" (13-14)  It just dawned on me, the first time I felt God telling me to start this group was right after everyone in my small group prayed around me with their hands on me.  Crazy.  "Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching.  Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you. "(16).  Thank you God for giving me these verses.  I know I am doing the right thing, and Satan is trying his hardest to keep me from achieving that goal.  But you are stronger then him and together we will win!

James 1:12 Tests in our life

“God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.”    James 1:12
This verse speaks to me in SO many different levels. Taken in a literal since, college tests.  I have taken my time to complete college.  I have taken all the exams, instead of over loading myself I have taken it slow so I could do the best job I could.  I just picture Jesus with this hands on my shoulders while I take the exam.  While he may not be giving me the answers (no matter how much I wish he would!) but he is there for me in my stress and he is blessing me (Hopefully!) with the job he intended me to do.
I also think of it as far as pregnancy testing.  I don't usually get the chance to even take a pregnancy test, but I am viewing the whole conceiving notion as a test.  If I just patiently endure all the heartache and disappointment he will bless me.  God promises to bless us, and God will never let me down.

Serving God 2 Corinthians 9:12-15

"This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people [VBS children] but is overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.  Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men [children] will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.  And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God had given you.  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"

Tonight was a hard night to serve God.  A very difficult day at work, plus the difficulty at home.  I was one beat woman! This verse reminds me that I am doing it for a reason.  That that child may come to know God because of the work we did at VBS.  That many years down the road they will remember that this is the week they came to Christ.  And then maybe that small child may bring others to Christ through their Christian walk.  All because they came to VBS and was shown the love of Christ.  I may not know each individual kid, but God has a purpose for each and every one.  Even though at times that may seem hard to believe! :o)  Tonights bible point was God listens.  That is another amazing thought, that no matter how little I feel, God listens to me!  Funny how a child doesn't need much convincing to believe that, but as adults it is close to impossible!

Shining as Stars Philippians 2:14-16

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not sun or labor for nothing."
Philippians 2: 14-16.

This is my all time favorite verses.  I think the first thing that brought me to this was the shining of stars, silly teen stuff.  Then I have come to appreciate this verse so much more.  As I think about starting this support group, I find myself asking, why me God?  Why can't I just take the easy route??   Why can't I just get pregnant and be done with all this?!  But this is where I need to take this verse to heart.  Do everything, it doesn't say do somethings with out complaining, do EVERYTHING.  Wow thats a lot.  I would love to become a blameless and pure child of God.  And I am in a crooked and depraved generation.  God wants me to do something great with this group.  I want to be able to stand before God on judgement day and he say "well done child of mine, you listen and obeyed, and you did so without complaining."
Stars, bright shiny lights that have lead people to their correct destinations.  Maybe that is what I can be.  Can I shine so bright that I lead others to Christ?  Guide them to their spiritual destinations?  I pray that God does this in my life.  Make me a star that leads others to you.

Colossians 1:15-17 Control

"Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.  He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,  for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth.  He made the things we can see and the things we can't see --- such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers and authorities in the unseen world.  Everything was created through him and for him.  He existed before anything else and he holds all creation together." Colossians 1: 15-17
 Recently a tornado destroyed Joplin MO, with almost 100 dead I ask God what he was thinking.  Why does he allow such heartache and sorrow to these people?  Then I selfishly ask God why he allows me heartache and sorrow?  But the above verse reminds me that he is in control.  He makes the things we can not see.  He may allow destruction, but he has created heaven for us, a much beautiful place with no heartache or sorrow. God not only holds creation together but also me.  He is my strength.  I don't know how I could live through such a disaster such as the tornado with out God.  It is hard to trust God in times of trials, but that is when I need him the most!